Wednesday, July 26, 2023
Turning Points -Ethel Leona Warren Gibbs
Born 3.3.24
Every life has turning points, those moments in time that shape us internally and our circumstances for the rest of our lives. I have had numerous turning points. This blog chronicles some of those moments. Today, I want to bring attention to someone who shaped my life dramatically, Ethel Leona Warren Gibbs
I grew up with a father that seemed larger than life. Strong, independent and proven manliness. I also grew up with a mother who is difficult to memorialize and bring out her wonders. In a word, my dear mother was a reflection of her upbringing.
Turning points began early in her life. As a young lady she endured what no girl should ever have to endure; the abuse of a ungodly father, and the anger of a jealous mother. Seeking true affection she unfortunately found herself with a child from a man who's name has gone into eternity with her. The child, Franklin, would become mentally handicapped and remain with her until his death. She, at 17 would connect with a man more than 3 times her age (55); a man who would be for her a hinge pin, allowing life to open and close with some stability. Stability had nothing to do with money, but love. Love that was unconditional and was a shield of protection from her haunting past for 26 years.
Turning points are often tragic. Mom gave birth to 7 kids while enduring 6 miscarriages. At the worst of times, she enduring watching her husband melt away over a three year period from lung cancer. She was a magnificent wife to him. He throughtout the years demonstrated to her unconditional love and enduring grace. When he passed she, like mosst women her age picked herself up and set out to make the best of the rest of her life. The rest of her life was more about endurance than enjoyment. She was left with the care of her oldest who was handicapped and then she had to try to wrangle one teen son and a pre-teen boy. 1970 was a terrible time to lose the love of your life. The culture was set against single moms; especailly a single mom with a 7th grade education and whop's only skillset was being an farm girl who had learned to adjust to being a the primary bread winner and caregiver to us. Mom parenting skills could be described as a reflection of her upbringing and a need for approval. Unfortunately she lacked internal resources to forcfully attempt to shape the character of the boys that were deeply immersed in the 70' culture. She was overly permissive and lacked fortitude to reign us in an establish boundaries. Consequently, our personal life and habits were engrained in drugs, alocholism and abusiveness. She was a tremendously hard and loyal worker; determined to make ends meet and survive whatever life threw at her and her family.She worked hard, providing basics as best as possible and that was all we needed. She set an example of endurnace and determination that God used to form my own character.Although she was permissive she transferred to me traits that hopefully my kids see in me today. She knew how to love people and serve people.She was a gracious but strong woman. She was able to carry an emotional load demonstrating perseverance. She was above all willing sacrifice for those she loved. Turning points shape you as those around you and generations to come. As a parent I recognize the power of those moments.In my opinion, in her latter years after the death of Frank she lost heart. loneliness was brutal enemy.
Prilvilege is often wrapped in strange packages. I was a privileged young man. A privileged son. She gave birth to me and held as I took my first breaths. On the day she died, she didn't know it, but I held her in my arms and prayed over as she took her last breath.
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