I recently had a conversation with someone about their getting a divorce. After quite a few years she had determined that she was better off going through life without her husband. She had come a point where she thought that she was giving more than she was getting in the relationship. She came to the point where she was tired of giving and asked: What’s In It For Me? Granted, it is a valid question; especially after so many years. After she told me her story of how she was the only one who took care of things, kids, house, etc… I asked her this question: Isn’t that was love does anyway? She got a blank stare on her face and agreed with me.
Every relationship expects some kind of reciprocity of love, kindness, care and accountability. But here is the point I want to make with you. If you go through life and the baseline of your life is primarily asking “What’s In It For Me”?, then you are setting yourself up not only for great disappointment, but you will essentially view people from a user friendly status. The moment they become unable to meet your needs or wants then they become disposable. In every relationship there are times where one individual in that relationship gives more than the other and there could be a thousand reasons for that. Also, in every relationship there are people who give in ways that may go undetected to the selfish eye and yes, there are some people who are downright selfish and those people you need to avoid so you will not get hurt.
Here’s my point: Be sure that at the center of your heart, your motivation in life isn’t what can I get? but what can I give?
Nothing will ever be enough for the selfish person. Giving will bring satisfaction to the selfless person.
You have to determine what your life is going to be about GETTING or GIVING.
Love,
Dad
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